...how absolutely bored I must be right now to be doing this. I got tagged for a meme, and I'm actually going to do selections from it. If you don't care what it is, good for you. Thank God, actually. But I guess it'll be fun for people who like to know random facts about people they talk to online.

Oh, geez. It sounds so creepy when phrased like that.

1. What curse-word do you use the most?
Oh, the F-bomb, certainly. If you're going
to curse, do it with gusto, right?

2. Do you own an I-Pod?
Hell no. That requires money. My phone
does just fine, thank you.

4. What time is your alarm set to?
5:30 AM. Gotta drive 45 minutes to work.
On work days. Which don't come often
enough.

6. Do you remember where you were Sept. 11, 2001
School library during a study hall. I remember it
quite vividly. I felt no emotions whatsoever
concerning the event, but I turned to a fellow
student and remarked "You know, this is going to
be the Kennedy assassination of our generation."
And, a few weeks later, guess what the pundits
were saying?

11. Do you ever take any medication to help you fall asleep?
Used to, back in the day. Actually, I took them for
all sorts of things. Not anymore. Just mild OTC
painkillers for me.

15. When was the last time you had Starbucks?
Oh, I live right near two coffee joints that
totally kick Starbucks' ASS. I haven't been
there in a long time.

16. Can you whistle?
Yep. Pretty good, actually. It's funny. I
couldn't as a kid, and then one day (also in a
study hall, oddly enough) I was taking a nap
on some lunchroom chairs, and when I woke up
I inhaled funny and whistled by accident. From
then on, I could whistle both ways - in and out.

17. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Come on, what kind of question is that? Nobody
ever notices one specific thing, to the exclusion
of everything else. At least I don't. But
the first thing I (internally) rate about the
opposite sex, after general weight, shape, and
fitness, is probably the face, and especially
the eyes.

18. What are you looking forward to?
Uh, practically any change at all, right now.
I am not where I want to be at all.

20. Do you own any band T-shirts?
Beatles. Abbey Road, specifically. Nice
form-fitting black.

22. Is anyone in love with you?
Interesting question. If so, I don't know
about it. Probably not. I hope not -
that's an unholy mess I don't need right
now.

23. What was the last song you heard?
Pendulous Threads, from Light Grenades
by Incubus. Brandon Boyd is an incredible
singer.

24. Last time you cried?
About a year ago - after a long, long
stretch of almost cinematic misfortune,
I got into a collision in my new, ten-year-
old car. The weight of my bad luck just
kind of overwhelmed me. Just as well I
cried then, actually, since it wasn't the
end of the streak. Enough about that.
Things are looking up now.

32. Do you eat breakfast daily?
By no means. My eating habits (and
sleeping habits, for that matter)
are extremely irregular. It comes
of having no money and no place of
your own.

35. Do you use sarcasm?
Who me? Never! Certainly not!

37. Are you picky about spelling and grammar?
Take a wild guess. Seriously.

39. Do you get along better with the same sex or the opposite sex?
The same, I guess. If I weren't so
darned good-looking, girls probably
wouldn't be able to put up with me
at all. They feel uncomfortable that
I can see right through the pleasing,
attractive disguises they wear, down to
the real core of...

...yeah, that answer's finished. Move on.
Nothing to see here.

40. Do you like mustard?
Now THAT's a good question. Hell, yes.
The browner the better.

43. How did you get one of your scars?
Let's just say it involved one of those
zip-cord yard toys and a stick. And
the law of friction.

45. Do you like anybody?
I take it this means romantically. Yes.
She recently moved to the other side of
the country after telling me when we last
met that she values my friendship a whole
lot. Hmm. Put that way, I think it
sounds worse than it really was. I'm
not that delicate.

52. What is a rumor that someone has spread about you?
The sheer brilliance of the rational
power that emanates from my keen
mind dispels all such fantasies. No
rumor has ever been spread about me,
to the best of my knowledge.

53. How do you feel about carrots?
I'm glad there are at least some decent
questions in this thing. Carrots are
a marvelous vegetable, with endless
potential for serving as a flavoring
agent or the focus of a dish. They
blend excellently with a wide variety
of other flavors, and take any seasoning
you can think of - from a honey and
brown-sugar glaze to a savory teriyaki
sauce. They add color and body to
soups and stews, they are even delicious
raw, and they are full of nutrients.
I am absolutely, positively 100%
in support of carrots.*

58. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
Step 1: Basic risk assessment. Is it going
to fall? Is there a fire in the
building? Is help on the way?
Step 2: If the answers to the above are
favorable, wait for help to arrive.
Step 2a:If not, check the ceiling for an
escape hatch.
Step 3: Proceed to Mission Impossible-style
acrobatics, providing assistance to
fellow passengers as need demands
and ability permits.

60. T or F: All's fair in love and war?
Certainly not. Justice doesn't just
magically disappear because a passion
makes you wish it would.

63. Do you like to sleep?
Too, too much.

66. Do you want a bright yellow '06 Mustang?
Sure! Are you buying?

69. Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?
Oh, the ocean. It has such power, such
magnitude that immersed in it the ego
falls to zero by comparison. One is
rendered humble by sheer force, overawed
by helpless submission, and yet free
to move. It's risky, yes, but what
worthwhile thing isn't?

70. Do you wear a lot of black?
Less than I used to, but yes. I mean,
it just matches everything. Like blue
jeans.

71. How would you describe your hair?
Don't be fooled by my ID. I had an
unflattering picture taken on purpose.
I have about the coolest hair of anyone
I know. Thick and wavy, with a strong
widow's peak. I look like an evil
magician from an anime. Or I would if
it were black. But my eyes and hair both
are just plain old BB: boring brown.

72. Do you have entomophobia?
Can I take a second to rant here? My
spellcheck just lit up entomophobia, which
is totally spelled right, but when I right-
clicked it, it brought up the usual list
of corrections, one of which was homophobia.
Now, homophobia is not a real word. It's
a political buzzword with absolutely no
scientific basis that relates to what a
phobia actually is. Stupid f**king
Microsoft. And no, my anger has no moral
or political basis. My anger is purely
philological. I'm sick of the English
language getting sullied and dirtied
with these stupid accretions.

Anyway, no. No I am not. Spiders
creep me out a little, but not to
a phobic level.

74. Where is/are your best friend(s)?
One is three minutes down the road.
Another is in Chicago (or rather, India
for the moment), and another (see earlier
answer) just moved to Washington state.

77. Do you enjoy spending time with your mother?
Yes. Yes, I do. My mother is awesome.

78. Are you a sugar freak?
No. It hurts my teeth.

79. Do you like orange juice?
Yes. Love it. Especially when I have
to chew it.

80. What sign are you?
Western: Taurus
Chinese: Wood Rat
Celtic: No such thing, as a matter of fact. Sorry.

The Chinese one fits me best in terms
of what it says about personality, but
it's all nonsense anyway. Scientifically
disproven in the Middle Ages by a famous
experiment in which two children were
born at exactly the same time, one to
a nobleman and one to a peasant.




If you read all this, joke's on you. Actually, joke's on me for writing it, but at least I killed something close to an hour. Pesky things, hours. They're easy to kill, but they just keep coming at the same rate, one after another. You'd think they'd slow down after a while.


*This statement has been sponsored and approved
by the National Agricultural Association for the
Advancement of Carrots (NAAC).